Crystal Shine
by BloodyVermillion
Summary: rewrite of my parody!
1. Chapter 1: Discontinued?

But it isn't fair! Why did they have to do this!?Ugh! Don't they have laws for this!?

I'm sorry,what was that? What am I complaining about?Well, its simple.

So I walked into the Big Donut, and went to the Cookie Cat freezer. When I looked inside there were no Cookie Cats. In fact, the freezer wasn't even on. So I asked Katie(the clerk) what happened to all the Cookie Cats, and guess what she told me.

"Cookie Cat has been discontinued,"she says. And then I overreact,because it is a BIG deal.

"NOOOOOOOOO! This can't be happening! This must be a dream!" I turn over and look at Larry(the guy stocking items) "Larry, Larry!"and then I start tugging at his leg. "Larry, Please tell me I am dreaming!"

He gives me a rude look and shoves me off his leg. Harrumph! This is _not_ how you treat a lady! And then he says "Get off me! Can't you see I'm stocking!?" Ugh! He didn't have to be so rude about it.

And then Katie says, "I'm sorry, Stephanie, I guess they just stopped making them."

Then I nearly screamed to the top of my lungs. "Stopped making them!? Why would they stop making Cookie Cat!? They are only the most _delicious_ ice cream snack in the known universe!?"

Then Larry points at the Lion Lickers' fridge and says,"I guess your _wimpy_ ice cream couldn't compete with lion lickers." Oh, Larry, must you be such a douche?

Now I am all mad and I scoff and say,"Lion Lickers!? But nobody even likes them! They don't even look like lions! Ugh! Kids these days, I'll tell you what." I felt like a bull getting ready to charge!

Then Larry decides he wants to be an even bigger douche and says,"If you want your _precious_ ice cream back so badly, Why don't you make some with your _magic wrist_." I was seriously getting ready to punch his face in.

"That isn't how it works, Larry!…I think." Is it?

Then Katie politely asks me,"Why don't you try something else? We have plenty of items to choose from."

Now I feel bad and I say,"No, Katie, Cookie Cat is the only snack for me,"and then I hug the freezer. She doesn't notice right away. "Well if you change your mind, let me—" Now she notices. And then when all the fuss was over, they let me keep the freezer. I'm still pretty steamed,though. So literally right this second, I am on my way home with the freezer in a pull wagon.


	2. Chapter 2: Caterpitles

Chapter 2: Caterpitles

Yes! Finally I am home! I am rushing in all upbeat and the funniest thing happens to me right when I walk in. Okay, you are gonna laugh! So, I am bursting through the door saying,"Hey guys! You will never believed what—" And now a giant caterpillar creature is attacking me! And now I'm all like,"Gah!" Hahaha!

And to my luck, Ametrine saves me! Yay! Girl power! She stabs the caterpillar thing with her trident and says,"Hey, Stephanie, How is it going?"

I am too amazed by what is happening to answer her question. I say,"Cool! What are these things?" I am simply in awe right now.

Turquoise picks up one of the cater-giants and gives me a sincere look,and then he says"I am so sorry, we will get these Caterpitles out of your think they were trying to get to the temple." Oh! So they're called Caterpitles. Okay, I get it now.

Even though I am in awe, I realise what he just said, and say,"What? No! Don't get rid of them!They're really great!" Then one of the Caterpitles spits on the floor. Ew! Wait…Is that acid!? Great! Now there is a hole in the floor!Why are we just standing here looking through the hole!?Do something!

I see Ametrine stabbing another caterpitle. It doesn't even die it just disappears in a ball of fading clouds. She _poofed_ ! Gone! Wait…She said something. I didn't quite hear her. I think she said,"Umm…these things don't have gems!"

In response, Demantoid says,"There must be a mother nearby!" A caterpitle sneaks up on Demantoid, I try to warn him but he noticed and _poofs_ the caterpitle with his hammer-axe.

Turquoise, still holding the Caterpitle, sighs and says,"We should find it before somebody gets hurt."Now I am excited! "Oh! I wanna come!"Then Turquoise gives me a skeptic look and says,"Stephanie, until you learn to control to learn the powers of your gem,"then he snaps the caterpitles neck,"We'll take care of saving humanity."

"Aw man." I'm looking at my is located on my left wrist. Cut into a square, with a deep black is always is it even supposed to do anyways?I am looking up at the is a caterpitle raiding the ! "Hey! Get your butt out of there!" I am running to the fridge all mad,"Go! Bye! Shoo! Ugh! They got into everything! What did they take from the freezer!?" I open the freezer,"Oh my gosh!" Eek! the freezer is full of…COOKIE CATS! "No way! H-How did you get these!? I thought they stopped making them!" Oh my gosh! I am taking one right now! Nothing can stop me!

Turquoise says,"Well, we heard that too…and we know they're your favourite so—"

Ametrine interrupts with,"We stole a bunch!"

Turquoise give Ametrine the leer that you give somebody when they are an big trouble and says," _I_ went back and payed for them."

Demantoid has kind of a cocky look on his face and says,"It was all _my_ idea" Ametrine failed to try and correct him by saying,"It was _everybody's_ idea." Demantoid says,"Not really." I believe him, Turquoise says,"All that matters is Stephanie is happy." I am so happy that I burst out rapping.

Ooooh!

He's a frozen treat with an all new taste!

Cuz he came to this planet from outer space!

A refugee of an interstellar war!

And now he's at your local grocery store!

Cookie Cat!

He's the pet for your tummy!

Cookie Cat!

He's Super Duper yummy!

Cookie Cat!

He left his family behind!

Cookie Caaaaaat!

Now available at Jurgen's off of route 109.

The gems(Turquoise, Demantoid, and Ametrine) Applaud and I feel so good. "Thank you guys! You're Awesome! I'm gonna saver these forever! Right after this one. Ah, hello old friend." I take a bite out of the ear. Mmmmm…So delicious. " I like to eat the ears first."

"Umm…Stephanie,"Ametrine says. "What is it?"

"Look at your gem."

My gem? What about my gem? I'm looking…Oh My Gosh! My gem! It's glowing!

"Quick summon your weapon!" Ametrine says.

I don't know how! "No no no! It's fading! How do I make it come back!?"

"Calm down! Breathe! Don't force it!" Turquoise shouts.

"And try not to pee yourself this time,"Ametrine says

"Please don't," Demantoid says.

My cheeks are _burning_ now. When was the last time I've _peed_ myself trying to summon my weapon? This is so embarrassing. Aw man! My gem stopped glowing. "Man I was this close! Can one of you just explain this to me?

Ametrine says,"Oh, I'll go first!"


	3. Chapter 3:Dance like a tree?

Chapter 3: Dance like a tree?

So Ametrine brings me to _her_ Japanese pink-petaled tree,and says,"Pay attention to these petals, Stephanie. The petals' dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance!" then she Summons her trident with a little dance like it was nothing,"Like so."

Ugh! I am still confused! But I guess I can try her advice. I'll just pick up some petals and practice dancing with them?

So I'm going around town throwing the petals in the air studying their fall. I don't get it, though. How does this help? Ugh!

"Hey Stephanie!"

"Holy Crap! Demantoid! You scared me! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry, um…Did Ametrine teach you the _petal thing_?"

"Yeah, what of it? I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree."What am I saying?

"Look, Steph, All that _practice_ stuff is _boring_. When _I_ need to summon my hammer-axe, it just happens."

Then Demantoid summons his hammer-axe without even trying and throws it at a wooden post near the garbage behind the Big Donut. Then I see Larry taking the garbage out and I can't help but looks so mad.

"See what I mean?"

"Yeah."I am still laughing.

"Now you 's not that hard."

"Okay" I try and fail…"It isn't working"

"That's because you didn't _need_ it."

"You didn't _need_ your hammer-axe."

"Look, who is trying to summon their weapon,me, or you?"

"Me."

"Okay then, you just need the right incentive." He summons his hammer-axe and swings the axe at me.

Eek! Weapon! Summon weapon! Activate! Crap!

The axe almost hits me but Demantoid stops right before it even touches me.

"Aw man. I thought that would work."

"It didn't!"

"I don't know what to do,then…"

Oh well. I'm going back to the temple.

When I get there I see Turquoise on the roof beckoning me. It _is_ his turn. I am on the roof now.

"Wanna know the key to summoning your weapon?"

"Of course!"

"The key to summoning your weapon is to know what you are doing, but treat it like its easy."

"So, you are saying that I am supposed to work really hard and not try at all?"

"Yes. Or... you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in—" he summons his scythe,"Well, at least that is my way of doing it."

Mind blown…boom.


	4. Chapter 4: Oh My Gosh! Its a bow!

Chapter 4: Oh my gosh! It's a (no spoilers)

"I think my best bet is to recreate the last time my gem glowed,"I point to the counter," Ametrine and Demantoid were by the counter…Ametrine I think your arms were crossed?"

"Okay, your majesty,"She says and crosses her arms.

"And, Turquoise, your foot was like this,"I angle his foot a bit differently.

"Stephanie, I don't think it works this way,"he says. It's still worth a try.

"And Demantoid…" his head was pointing downward a bit, so I'm just gonna adjust it a little bit…"Perfect." Now I just need the cookie cat. "Then I took a bite out of this Cookie Cat. Wait! No! I sang the song first! Umm… He's a frozen treat…all new taste…interstellar war…now available at Jurgen's…Ugh! I nailed it last time. Maybe I'm not a _real_ crystal gem." Ugh! This is hopeless!

Turquoise bends down next to me and says,"Of course you are. Don't be silly."

"And your fun to have around,even if your gem _is_ useless,"Ametrine adds. This is, like, the second time Turquoise has leered at her today. "…I mean you're one of us, Stephanie, we aren't the crystal gems without you.

"Yeah…Even if I don't have powers,I've still got…Cookie Cat!" I take a bite, so delicious! Yaawwwnnnn…Stretching my arms into an archer position.

Everybody in the room is gasping of awe. My eyes are is going on?

"Oh My Gosh, It's a bow!"Turquoise says.

A bow? Wait…None of you guys have bows…Oh My gosh! I open my eyes. I have summoned my weapon!

"OMG I get a bow!? Oooh yeah!" Oops I accidentally let go of the arrow. It ricochets around the room and breaks a TV. "Cookie Cat…I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!"

Turquoise picks one of the wrappers and I can hear him mumbling the words,"What's in these things?"

Rumble! Rumble! The house is shaking!

"What is that!?"


	5. Chapter 5:mother

Chapter 5:Mother

We run outside and see a giant caterpitle! the regular caterpitles were the size of me, but this one it the size of a house that can fit eleven people! _That_ is big. What is it doing on the temple!?

I can hear Demantoid shouting,"It's the mother!"and leaping at her but she smacks him back to the ground. Turquoise quickly turns to me,shoves me back into the house and says,"Stay in the house, Stephanie. We don't want you to end up dead."

What!? No Way! I'm not letting you guys have all the fun! This moment too awesome to miss!" I quickly rush back into the house to grab as many cookie cats as I can and shove them into the freezer. Now to rush out with it and use my bow.

I can see the gems chasing the mother down to the back of the my gosh she is spitting acid at them. Good thing they took cover behind the hand statue.

I am not sure what Ametrine just said, I think she said,"Umm…We could really use _Stephanie's bow_ right now." I am so in the moment that I rush down behind the mother and grab a rock. Then I chuck the rock at her. Yes! I got her attention! "Hey! Leave them alone! Cookie Cat Crystal Combo Powers…Activate!" I eat a cookie cat and nothing happens…"Oh, crap…Gah!"Nope! I am getting further than this.

I can hear Turquoise saying,"We need to save Stephanie!" Then Ametrine says,"Can we save _ourselves_ first so we _can_ save Stephanie?"

"Good bye my good old friends,"of course I am talking to the cookie cats, I eat a few more"Ugh! Why Isn't it working!?" The mother tries to kill Demantoid with her pincers. Demantoid holds the pincers back.

I look to my left and see a broken cookie cat freezer…Gasp!"No!…Oh,no no no! Let it go,Stephanie…down the mother's throat! Cookie Cat, he's the pet for your tummy…"pick up the freezer,"Cookie Cat, he's super duper…YUMMY!"swings the freezer,"COOKIE CAT, HE LEFT HIS FAMILY BEHIND! COOKIE CAAAAAAT!"let go now, Stephanie. The freezer hits and electrocutes the mother.

The gems burst from cover and quickly takes care of the mother.

Ow! Now there is a deep,sharp pain in my stomach. Then Ametrine comes and says,"Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream."

Then Turquoise says,"Of course they don't come from ice 't worry, you will find out how to activate your gem sooner or later."

Then Demantoid says,"Yes, in your own Stephanie-ish way."

"I am okay, I just—"PAIN!"Oh! I ate to many cookie cats!"

The gems laugh, I guess the expect me to laugh too. heh…heh…heh…bleh!

to be continued…


End file.
